App companies don’t discriminate when it comes to users. They cater to the general public, and, while that may sound wonderfully egalitarian, it does pose a filtering problem for many of us.
If using dating apps creates feelings of isolation, rejection, and disconnection, never forget that out of the hundreds of random strangers you swipe through, you will be incredibly lucky to find resonance with even a few.
Humans are a complicated bunch, each with unique tastes and proclivities. It takes time to find your people. And, while identifying as straight or gay (or…) is often a necessary starting point for finding sex and relationships, it is usually far too general to be a good common denominator for finding meaningful connections. It’s like expecting to find lasting friendships from people who also like Game of Thrones.
RECOMMENDATION: Don’t look to apps to satisfy all social needs. Put down the phone and meet people in the real world.
IMPORTANT: If you are receiving zero attention and consistent rejection, consider abandoning dating apps altogether, especially if they are damaging your self-esteem. Before returning to them, learn to understand your blind spots, unique challenges, and ways to better communicate your desires to the world. You may have a fear of intimacy or other obstacles keeping you from getting your desires met. There are coaches in the world (like me!) who can help you navigate this virtual world successfully.
Kirk’s Apptitude Tip #6: Never Forget You Are Interacting with the General Public